To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
