In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
