i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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