somebody snuck up and got me drunk
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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