so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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