i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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