I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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