She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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