Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
