don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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