I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
