Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
