You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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