she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
