dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
