I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
The dick lei will go down in squad history
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