Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
