omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
