He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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