News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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