her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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