the day after is always just damage control
they're like a gay fantastic four
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
