I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
