Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Even my vagina gasped.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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