Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Randomize
