I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize