Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Randomize
