I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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