hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
worst night to have a conscience
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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