Im at strip club and am horny
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I've blown a few things in my day
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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