I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
