just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
