if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
