NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
