Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
