he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize