3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
