So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
