kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
