I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I am naked and annoyed.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
