That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
