My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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