Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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