so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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