What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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