The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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