She is in my trunk
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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