Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i love accidental penises.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
