Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
