ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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