that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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