We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
