You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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