It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
