I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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