I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
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