we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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