school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize