evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
