I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
