So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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