A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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