Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize