i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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