Soap is not a condiment
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
