I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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